Day 5: Sipping champagne with great friends on a rooftop is BTS

On any given Thursday in New York City, rooftops can be a stage for high drama.

For instance, a 46-year-old French stuntman could wake up on a different side of the bed and decide to, say, scale the 52-story New York Times Building on Times Square to protest global warming. A few hours later, a Brooklyn native fed up with malaria could suddenly grab onto the ladderlike horizontal rods of the same skycraper and venture his way to the top. Or a gay guy in his mid-20s, staunchly opposed to all manners of sexual relations, can work his way up, up, up (minus the King-Kong-inspired stuntwork) to the rooftop – the proceedings lubricated by champagne, strawberries and the company of new friends – and reach a different sort of climax.

While I did not get arrested for reckless endangerment or had to watch my father defend my mental stability on national television, I think I might’ve been on to something far more subversive: that a fully engaged conversation about frottage, fleshlight and Aussiebum underwear with people I had just met can be – you said it – better than sex. Lest you think that our conversation was limited to such abominable (yet undeniably droll) subjects, we chatted about more felicitous topics as well, from C.T.’s Francophilia or, to be more accurate, his love of Paris, which was all the entry I needed to overtake the conversation and recount my chance encounter with a guy I met while on the streets in Paris and walked around its  labyrinthine paths with for six hours, after which I was escorted to his lovely apartment in Le Marais where I was pleasantly surprised by a wonderful view of the Centre Pompidou and my man-friend’s very own baguette. Although it was not served with pate, the baguette did not disappoint.

Meanwhile, the amazing A.R. aired his frustration over the elusiveness of the gay bachelor in New York City and the excessive friendliness of couples on the prowl for a third playmate (a situation which might be easily remedied with a fleshlight, a dildo and a little imagination). J.P., on the other hand, grilled me on the parameters of acceptable sexual behavior during my one hundred days. My quick answer to people who ask me this is “Neck up, good; neck down, not good.” (It didn’t take him too long after that to work frottage into the discussion.  Obviously, I am going to have to write a separate blog entry about “the rules of the game”.)  A.Y. shocked me when he told he was 34 even though he didn’t look a day over 26, which I’ll say is better than sex and botox combined. Finally, C.S. – my own Edie Sedgwick – mused about how some bisexual men have a tendency to be a little more partial towards their male partners than to female ones. (Maybe they’re actually – shock! – gay?)

All in all, it was an evening that exhilarated me far more than I could’ve imagined, after such a long and eventful day. And while there have yet been no conclusive studies on the benefits of sparkling wine to one’s health vis-a-vis red wine, I say that a bottle of champagne — and five wonderful people — is always good for the heart. 

Glossary of terms:

Frottage – the act of rubbing against the body of another person, as in a crowd, to attain sexual gratification

Fleshlight – male masturbation device, disguised as a flashlight

 

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3 Responses to “Day 5: Sipping champagne with great friends on a rooftop is BTS”

  1. Vince, Gilles and I went to run in the park. It was so hot and humid we could barely make it. We got home and Gilles made a peach smoothie that was BTS!! After I finished it I really thought I needed to share this with you. Believe me, if he ever ask me to choose between having sex or a smoothie, I’ll have trouble choosing.

    Jaime

  2. I am glad you enjoyed the champagne and strawberries summer night roof top get-together, =) we have to do it again.

  3. […] backgammon players only thirty feet away. (Apparently, pétanque is big in France; I can imagine my Parisian man-friend playing the sport when he’s not preoccupied with his […]

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