Day 33: Learning dirty words from George Carlin is BTS

George Carlin – God bless his soul (and he’ll probably hate me for saying so) – is a mouthful. Whenever I feel like expanding my vocabulary, I’ll leave it to Carlin, who lords over in-your-face wordplay as he riffs on civilization as its (most darkly comic) discontent.

I’ve never seen any of Carlin’s standup work – a crime, I know – until A.T. thought of renting one of his recent HBO specials, “Life Is Worth Losing”, for our post-dinner viewing. A.T. had prepped me earlier about Carlin’s stock-in-trade: His angry-man schtick skewered everything from greedy corporations and Vegas to people who send unsolicited pictures of their kids and cereal. The show started with Carlin putting on a master rapper’s show of buzzword-heavy razzmatazz, a fast-talking Derrida exposing how vacuous these catchphrases of the day are.

And then he talked about pussy farts.

That, A.T. said, was vintage Carlin for you, who’s best remembered for his groundbreaking “Seven Dirty Words” routine back in the ‘70s. After pussy farts, who couldn’t buy Carlin as an exceptionally astute observer of human foibles? Now I’ve never heard of such a thing before; I trust that you, dear reader, would know why not for reasons that should be obvious by now. He dished out two more words, which he said we could always hear more of. The first is “dingleberry”, not a cousin of the blueberry or strawberry but an affair that could be avoided with proper toilet training. Then there’s “cornhole”, a term of twisted endearment that may be used as a noun or a verb. Carlin graciously offered to use it as a verb in a sentence: “I love to watch CSI…and I would love to have the chief examiner say…well after they shot him, then they cornholed him about 34 times.” Certainly few men could surpass the brio of Carlin’s metaphorical allusions to the nether regions of the human anatomy and his flourish in delivering them.

Words like these probably won’t end up in your everyday lexicon, but I suspect that the reason why these words – and the ideas behind them – are so hilarious is that laughter dispels the cringes they would otherwise induce. As unsavory and discomfiting these things are, they’re gut-punchingly true. And these three words are just the tip of Carlin’s iceberg; dig deeper and he trains his sharp, unforgiving eye on subjects loftier and more perverted, like political entities and ideological systems.

Carlin is my kind of guy. A man who calls a spade a spade is one thing, but one who refers to the anal orifice as a cornhole is something else entirely – a blue-collar Rushdie who trades in taboos and the fringes of acceptable thought and speech, and one who’s hysterically funny too.

Gay men in New York City could learn a thing or two from Carlin. Forget about the dirty words. Here’s a guy who says what’s on his mind. If he thought something was wrong, he’d come out and say it. If only these basic rules of communication were as popular and highly regarded in gay dating situations, where the parties involved tend to shy away from “unsavory and discomfiting” subjects like, say, where the perpetual cornholing is actually headed. It’s all par for the course for gay men to sleep together for months and not give it a thought – or admit to having it; one of the cardinal rules of “fuck buddy” setups is to avoid letting feelings get in the way. Indeed, some things are easier said than done, but when it involves cornholing and its attendant ramifications? You’d probably hear a pussy fart first before most gay guys said anything. 


2 Responses to “Day 33: Learning dirty words from George Carlin is BTS”

  1. Hi Vince,

    How’s the Chastity race going? are we still on the track? I will surely be on the finish line once to meet you, when and if u finish the 100 days…

    Darn that’s tough!


  2. Hi Paolo,

    It’s going well and, yes, I will be holding on to my chastity belt for dear life for the remainder of the race! Well, you can always join me and start your own 100 days! 🙂


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